Offered by A.M. on October 22, 2020
There is a Buddhist teaching found in the Sallatha Sutta, known as The Arrow. It says if an arrow hits you, you will feel pain in that part of your body where the arrow hit; and then if a second arrow comes and strikes exactly at the same spot, the pain will not only double, it will become at least ten times more intense.
The unwelcome things that sometimes happen in life—being rejected, losing a valuable object, failing a test, getting injured in an accident—are analogous to the first arrow. They cause some pain. The second arrow, fired by our own selves, is our reaction, our storyline, and our anxiety. All these things magnify the suffering. Many times, the ultimate disaster we’re ruminating upon hasn’t even happened. We may worry, for example, that we have cancer and that we’re going to die soon. We don’t know, and our fear of the unknown makes the pain grow even bigger.
The second arrow may take the form of judgment (‘how could I have been so stupid?’), fear (‘what if the pain doesn’t go away?’), or anger (‘I hate that I’m in pain. I don’t deserve this!’). We can quickly conjure up a hell realm of negativity in our minds that multiplies the stress of the actual event, by ten times or even more. Part of the art of suffering well is learning not to magnify our pain by getting carried away in fear, anger, and despair. We build and maintain our energy reserves to handle the big sufferings; the little sufferings we can let go.
If you lose your job, of course it’s a normal response to feel fear and anxiety. It is true that in most cases to be out of work is a suffering; and there is real danger attached if you don’t have enough to eat or can’t afford necessary medicine. But you don’t need to make this suffering worse than the reality. Some people in this situation may think ‘I’m no good at this or that,’ or ‘I’ll never get another job,’ or ‘I have failed.’ It’s important to remember that everything is impermanent. A suffering can arise—or can work itself out—for anyone at any moment.
Instead of throwing good energy away on condemning yourself or obsessing over what catastrophes might be lurking around the corner, you can simply be present with the real suffering that is right in front of you, with what is happening right now. Mindfulness is recognizing what is there in the present moment. Suffering is there, yes; but what is also there is that you are still alive: ‘Breathing in, I know I’m alive. ‘Breathing out, I smile to this life.’
To be alive is a wonderful thing. Because you are alive, there’s a paradise of experiences available to you at every moment. It’s a paradise, if you only stop to notice and appreciate it. Happiness is possible immediately—even if not everything is perfect.
When you are with a person you love, if they are absorbed in anxiety, you can help that person to get out. ‘Darling, do you feel the sun’s warmth? Can you sense the coming of spring?’ This is mindfulness. Mindfulness is for making us aware of what is happening now. Not only are there always conditions of happiness present in me, but they are also all around me.